Friday = Forgiveness

Imagine that forgiving could be fun. When we realize that we will be lighter, happier, and more joyful as we let go of our grudges, we begin to experience the surprising idea that it is fun to forgive.  When I first started playing with these daily attitude practices, I found forgiveness to be much more challenging than the others. It was relatively easy and fun to pay compliments, do acts of kindness, and be grateful. I struggled with the notion of forgiveness. As I explored the topic, I realized many of us collapse forgiving with forgetting or condoning. I read several books (including Forgiveness by Gerald G. Jampolsky and Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love) that help me to understand that forgiveness fundamentally is about letting go of resentment and anger. We can certainly remember people have hurt us and we may even be more careful about how we engage with them in the future, but we can release the grudge. If you took a moment now and made your best “I’m holding a grudge against you” face and posture – notice that it does the opposite of laughter and humor. It has been said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and thinking that it is going to kill someone else. I also find that for most of us, the person we are most served by forgiving is the person who wears our shoes. When we can be gentle and compassionate enough to forgive ourselves, we tend to be more open to forgive others. On Friday, we can direct ourselves to accept how life is – resistance causes persistence and suffering. Releasing anger makes us healthier and opens our hearts to laughter. Acceptance is like proactive forgiveness; if we accept what happens, we won’t have to forgive later. Some practices for Friday might include looking for places in our lives to apologize and to forgive. We can create opportunities to have conversations that enable us to let go and feel complete.

“As mentioned on page 38 of The HoHo Dojo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, you can download a one-page handout of daily practices”