Monday = Marvel

“Billy, you are like a Grow-Op!” Excuse me. “You turn people’s lights on; you are like one of those intense bulbs that produces rapid growth.” Okay, I was a little concerned about the association. “You help people grow outside of their comfort zone and become more alive.”

Each day of the week we can focus on an alliterative attitude to lighten up and love life laughing: Marvel at the people in your life, the beauty of nature, and see how much of the day you can spend in awe of life. “Show me a day when the world wasn’t new” (Sister Barbara Hance, 1928-1993). Look for the good in others and tell them what you like about them. Create a generosity of spirit.

Awaken your sense of wonder. Monday practices include paying compliments, acknowledging, praising, and appreciating the magic of life. One of the great aspects of devoting our attention to the positives is that it takes us away from the typical human tendencies to judge and criticize. We’ve all been hearing more about the Law of Attraction – you may notice that when you put your attention on the things you don’t like about people in your life, you tend to get more of what you find distasteful. If you spend the day seeking to find ways to let people know what you like and appreciate, you may find that those positive qualities become more apparent to you.

Tuesday = Take new perspectives

“Our workplace was fragmented and each of us was locked into our own truth. In a very fun and lively way, Billy showed us how we are always living in a perspective.”

Each day of the week we can focus on an alliterative attitude to lighten up and love life laughing:   Tuesday is a day to develop and practice flexibility. One of our greatest follies as human beings is that we have one way of viewing life and we quickly forget that it is not the truth or the only way to see things. This is a day to cultivate a willingness to see things another way. I believe it was Dalai Lama who said, “You can be right, or you can be happy.” If we can let go of being right and be open to new ideas and experiences, we will very likely enhance our relationships and laugh a lot more. Generally if I’m right (and making you wrong), we are probably not going to be doing much chuckling together. An open mind paves the way to more fun and greater ease. Tuesday is also a day to create novelty. We can easily get locked into ruts and familiar ways of conducting life. We add more pizzazz to life when we try new adventures. It could be something as simple as taking a different route to work as a starter. A friend of mine suggests that you go to the grocery store and find some fruit or vegetable that you don’t know what it is. Just be sure to get the name. Then go home and Google yourself a recipe. One practice you can attempt on Tuesdays is when you find yourself in a position of potential disagreement and you notice that you are about to cling to your righteousness, muster getting the words “that’s another way of looking at it” out of your mouth. Even if in the back of your mind you are thinking, “that’s a stupid way of looking at it,” it’s a good start. We perpetually believe that we are seeing things the way they are, when maybe our view is through a fun-house mirror. If we can embrace a little humility and not be so certain that we see things from a privileged point of view, we can be curious about how others experience the world and have fun understanding different ways of seeing life.

Wednesday = Welcome kindness and compassion

“The journey out of your head begins with a single laugh” (Strean, 2009). Once we occupy our hearts and full selves, we open up to each other and our natural kindness and compassion emerge.  Each day of the week we can focus on an alliterative attitude to lighten up and love life laughing: One way to define kindness is doing anything to help make other people’s lives a little easier. Some traditions believe that our basic nature is one of loving kindness. I’d like to think so.

I heard Wayne Dyer describe how acts of kindness improve our holistic health – when we engage in an act of kindness we get a benefit, when we receive an act of kindness we get a benefit, and even when we witness an act of kindness we get a benefit. Recognizing the difficulties and challenges that everyone faces in life, it behooves us to be kind to one another. If we are conscious of the suffering in all lives, we are more likely to be compassionate and understanding. Again, we can begin with some simple practices. On Wednesday we can open doors for people, lighten the load for others, smile at people we don’t know. I have a pet project related to kindness. There is a highway that runs through Edmonton called the Whitemud Freeway. I propose that if you happen to be on the Whitemud that you allow another driver to merge into your lane. Try it just on Wednesday. (And if your driving doesn’t bring you through this part of the world, feel free to try it on your local road.)

“As mentioned on page 38 of The HoHo Dojo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, you can download a one-page handout of daily practices”

Thursday = Thank you

One pathway to living in gratitude is getting more connected to your whole self. As we use laughter and playful movement to become more present, engaged, and connected to ourselves and what we care about, we easily come to appreciate the beauty of ourselves and our lives.

There is probably no attitude that brings us a longer way toward happiness than gratitude. On Thursday, we can focus especially on being grateful for the abundance in our lives and it will likely brighten our day. An attitude of gratitude brings serenity and laughter. It is easy to be pulled into materialism and think about what is missing and what we wish we could buy. Yet, there is wisdom that Sheryl Crow sang, “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you have!” At least once a week, we can ask ourselves, “What am I grateful for in my life?” Often, I start my Thursday, as soon as I wake up with this inquiry. I often begin with “I’m grateful for my bed” … it’s something simple, but I appreciate it. Then I may note that I’m grateful for the person next to me, my wife, Paula. I’m grateful for my boys, Andrew and Michael, and that we are all healthy. I’m grateful I get to be a dad. The more we focus on gratitude, it can be amazing how much we take for granted. Consider something like water. If you are reading this book, I’m betting that you are not likely part of the over one billion people on the planet who has to travel over a kilometer for clean water. We can be grateful that we can turn on the tap and drink the water. (If you shave at the Edmonton YMCA and have ever gotten a look from me while you left the water running, now you know why). Part of the beauty of putting our focus on what we have and being grateful for it, is that it shifts us from seeing the negative. When I have a speck of mindfulness and I catch myself being upset, I can almost always change my mood and outlook by considering what I could be grateful for in the situation. For example, I’m standing in line at Costco and some couple is searching through the ninth compartment of their wallets trying to locate a form of identification more reputable than their Quisp I.D. card so they can pay by check. As I notice my growing irritation, I consider what I could be thankful for … like I have a cart full of food and other cool stuff and I have the resources to pay for it … that I was able to choose freely about coming here and I have this abundance of choices. Evenin more severe situations, such as when one of our family members is ill, we can be grateful for having someone we love so much in our lives, we can be thankful for the availability of healthcare. You may have noticed that I’m not telling you things you don’t already know, but you may also be aware that these good ideas don’t stay with you every day. This is why practices are so valuable. In a keynote address at Stanford University’s Multifaith Baccalaureate Celebration on June 11, 2005, the marvelous author Sylvia Boorstein, described her practice of gratitude:

“We e-mail each other every single day and I write to Carol what I am grateful for that day, and she writes to me. It’s not a letter. I don’t even write “Dear Carol.” I say, “I am grateful today for” this and this and this. She writes the same. I don’t have to respond to her, she doesn’t have to respond to me. When we started, it was easy. She went back to Massachusetts, she said, “I’m grateful the snow is melting.” I wrote to her, “I am grateful I live in California, we already have crocuses and daffodils.” Perhaps you would like to e-mail someone everyday or once a week to express your gratitude. You can write to gratitude@hohodojo.com; we will be grateful to hear from you.

“As mentioned on page 38 of The HoHo Dojo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, you can download a one-page handout of daily practices”

Friday = Forgiveness

Imagine that forgiving could be fun. When we realize that we will be lighter, happier, and more joyful as we let go of our grudges, we begin to experience the surprising idea that it is fun to forgive.  When I first started playing with these daily attitude practices, I found forgiveness to be much more challenging than the others. It was relatively easy and fun to pay compliments, do acts of kindness, and be grateful. I struggled with the notion of forgiveness. As I explored the topic, I realized many of us collapse forgiving with forgetting or condoning. I read several books (including Forgiveness by Gerald G. Jampolsky and Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love) that help me to understand that forgiveness fundamentally is about letting go of resentment and anger. We can certainly remember people have hurt us and we may even be more careful about how we engage with them in the future, but we can release the grudge. If you took a moment now and made your best “I’m holding a grudge against you” face and posture – notice that it does the opposite of laughter and humor. It has been said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and thinking that it is going to kill someone else. I also find that for most of us, the person we are most served by forgiving is the person who wears our shoes. When we can be gentle and compassionate enough to forgive ourselves, we tend to be more open to forgive others. On Friday, we can direct ourselves to accept how life is – resistance causes persistence and suffering. Releasing anger makes us healthier and opens our hearts to laughter. Acceptance is like proactive forgiveness; if we accept what happens, we won’t have to forgive later. Some practices for Friday might include looking for places in our lives to apologize and to forgive. We can create opportunities to have conversations that enable us to let go and feel complete.

“As mentioned on page 38 of The HoHo Dojo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, you can download a one-page handout of daily practices”

Weekends are for Chocolate

Aren’t we a celebration-challenged culture? When we enjoy ourselves we talk about things like “guilty pleasures.” Take time to step away from work and feel joy and passion on the weekend. Chocolate can be a literal thing. If it’s all right for you, eat some chocolate … or any other food you thoroughly enjoy. Chocolate is also a metaphor to remind us to rest, relax, recover, then play, enjoy, and experience the rapture of being alive. Most of us live full lives and we may find ourselves working too hard or neglecting to take time for what we care about or what brings us pleasure. The HoHo Dojo encourages you to (and gives you permission to) remember to take time for leisure and pleasure. Be enthusiastic. A great weekend practice and challenge is to plan something fun for yourself that you were not already going to do! It may surprise you that this practice is the most challenging one for some people. I have times when I

get caught up in the tasks I have to do and the next step on the achievement ladder. My playful partner, Paula, sometimes says, in a firm, law enforcement type voice, yet with a smile on her

face, “It’s the weekend . . . STEP away from the computer!”

As acknowledged in The HoHo DoJo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, “I credit the founder of Laughter Clubs, Dr. Madan Kataria, and the North American champion of laughter clubs and the World Laughter Tour, Steve Wilson, with recognizing the importance of practices related to attitudes and creating the forerunners to the program I describe here.” Steve gets credit for weekends being for chocolate.

“As mentioned on page 38 of The HoHo Dojo: Lighten Up and Love Life Laughing, you can download a one-page handout of daily practices”