In considering how to enhance my Loving Relationships (the ‘L’ in ALIVE), I got to thinking about my language. Although I’m far from offended by profanity, I got Fwordcurious about the energy I was creating with my words. Just like in stand-up comedy: the deliberate and occasional use of swears can add to the intended effect, whereas peppering every sentence with curses is lazy and less effective.

Without getting too esoteric, let’s assume words carry a vibration or a charge – even if people don’t understand fully the meaning conveyed, they tend to get the energy of the message. Let’s say that some words tend to express our lower levels of everyday annoyance and complaining (we can call this Level 1). Other words are good, solid thinking and feeling words (Level 2). Some words fit with a higher vibration, perhaps corresponding with our spiritual or higher selves (Level 3).  Does the “F-word” occur in Level 3?

Why does this matter? Is there a point here? Many of us struggle most to be at our best with those we love the most. As my teacher, Richard Strozzi Heckler, has said, “I throw six-foot two guys around the mat for three hours and then I go home and do the real Aikido.” When I take an honest look at where I’m failing in my attempts to live and model the aspects of aliveness, it is the times when I let my anger get the best of me with my family. The place where I most want to be my loving, heartful self is the place I mess up most frequently.

“Cleaning up” my language is not an end in itself, but a pathway and a measure of managing myself and the energy I’m projecting. So after mulling it over for a couple of days and seeing the enormity of the challenge, this morning I took on eliminating the “F-word” from my vocabulary (or reserving it for measured use). sniffing glueWhen I saw it was snowing here on September 8, I felt like Lloyd Bridges in the movie Airplane, “looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.” To paraphrase Cee Lo Green, seeing the snow in the sky on a “summer” day, Forget You! For me, hurling an expletive at the weather is not the issue; it’s raising the bar and giving the precious people in my life more of what I want to share with them.

What’s coming out of your mouth? How might some adjustments boost your aliveness?

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