As a yellow-bracelet-and-Livestrong-shirt-wearing fan, it was painful for me to observe Lance Armstrong’s colossal fall from grace. I’ve been debating whether I should throw the shirt away or cover up the “v” with yellow. We’ve had his books It’s Not About the Bike (2000) and Every Second Counts (2003) on our shelves. Perhaps after suffering through 2 1/2 hours of his less than remorseful and credibility-stretching interview with Oprah, the following is my coping mechanisms in action. I came up with a top-ten list of new Lance Armstrong book titles. Then I read that an employee at an Australian library put up a sign announcing that its Lance Armstrong books would be relocated to the fiction section. Kudos go to my wife, Paula, for the best of the titles below.

TOP NEW LANCE ARMSTRONG BOOK TITLES

Runner-up: Every Lie Counts

10. It’s not about the EPO

9. Who moved my testicles?

8. Good to Great … To Disgraced

7. Fifty shades of doping

6. The book of (used to be) awesome

5. The seven habits of highly effective liars

4. Awaken the cheater within

3. Rules are made to be broken – expert edition

2. Drug testing for Dummies

1. Don’t sweat the truth stuff

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